How To Treat Someone Who Hates You


How To Treat Someone Who Hates You
5) Learn how to be civil – Being kind and courteous to everyone is a good general attitude to have and it’s essential when you’re dealing with someone who hates you. Treating everyone with respect and dignity is the most civil thing you can do so go forth and be kind.

How do you respond to someone who hates you?

Download Article Haters gonna hate—but what are YOU gonna do? Download Article Haters, like mosquitos, are a natural and unpleasant part of life. But as annoying as mosquitos are, at least they won’t say unkind things about you behind your back (or to your face) or physically confront you or any of the numerous nasty things haters might do.

  • Avoid your hater when you can, but if you must engage, try to stay calm and collected.
  • Reflect on your interactions with them to try to understand why they hate you and patch things up if you can, but realize there may not be any valid reason for them to dislike you.
  • Emotionally detach yourself from the situation and realize they’re not worth your time—you have more important things to dedicate your energy to.
  1. 1 Walk away from your hater. Avoiding a confrontation with someone who hates you does not mean that you are admitting defeat or accepting the reality that a perfect solution cannot be reached. Instead, it demonstrates that you have complete control over the situation by not engaging in their negativity.
    • Haters never offer constructive criticism or positive feedback, only criticism. If you already know this already, then there is absolutely no reason to have a dialogue with them.
    • Listening to a hater will only ruin your day. All the negativity will do is hurt your feelings, make you angry, or incite you to participate in their pessimistic attitude.
  2. 2 Stay calm when engaging with them. You may not always be able to avoid your hater, but if you must interact with them, it’s imperative to stay cool, A hater will try to get under your skin whenever they can, and remaining calm may ensure a physical confrontation doesn’t occur.
    • By staying calm and not responding to their attacks you demonstrate that their opinions and destructive comments are not valued by you. Eventually, this may reveal to them that attacking your character is a waste of time.
    • Remaining calm will conserve your energy for more positive pursuits. Do not waste your time or energy on a situation that does not deserve your attention.


  3. 3 Do not try to appease your hater. Your hater may try to bully you into admitting or explaining mistakes in front of others to reveal your imperfect self (and to make themselves seem more powerful). And you may be tempted to go along to get along, but remember that they’re not trying to get along with you here: they’re trying to exert power over you.
    • Value your self-worth and don’t degrade yourself to their level unless they treat you with the respect you deserve as a person.
    • Shut down their hateful comments with witty or sarcastic retorts like, “Well bless your heart!” or “Preach!” or pull an Emperor Palpatine and say, “Good.good.let the hate flow through you.”
    • Even if they have valid complaints, this isn’t the way they need to handle them. Offer to speak with them alone if you feel comfortable with it, and tell them that you won’t tolerate disrespect.
  4. 4 Limit your interaction with them. This might be difficult to do if you work with this person or have to deal with them on a daily basis, but you can take steps to limit your exposure to them. Limiting facetime will reduce how many times a day you have to take evasive action or submit yourself to their hate.
    • Simple changes to your daily schedule will throw the timing off just enough to help you avoid the hater. Try taking your breaks at work at different times; come home later in the day or leave earlier in the morning if the hater is your neighbor or roommate; or stay in different rooms of the house during holidays if the hater is an extended family member.
    • In each of these cases, if you come into contact with the hater, then either politely excuse yourself and exit the area or try to keep things neutral and unemotional if you must interact with them. Avoid bringing up topics that provide an opportunity for the hater to become negative towards you.
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  1. 1 Reflect on past interactions to understand the source of their hatred. Think about your past encounters with the hater. There might be absolutely nothing you can do to change their behavior, but you might discover upon reflection that their hate is rooted in a single conversation, action, or event that could easily be rectified.
    • Perhaps you left them with a bad first impression when you first met. If you suspect this is the case, consider trying to let the hater get to know you a little better. Their attitude might change.
    • If you’re a bit socially anxious, it’s possible your hater mistook shyness for rudeness and believed you were their hater first. Making an effort to say hello to them may make them reconsider their attitude.
    • They may be jealous of your achievements, or perhaps you advertise your success in a way that another person might perceive as boastful. In this case, try toning it down for the sake of peace.
    • Joking or horsing around could also lead to issues with haters who are miserable or not part of the “in” crowd. Either try to include everybody in the fun, or simply cut it out when the hater is present.
  2. 2 Avoid taking responsibility for their feelings. At the end of the day, the issue the hater has with you is their problem and not yours. The quicker you realize this, the quicker you can come to peace with the situation. Anyway, most haters have no real basis for their animosity.
    • The most direct way of dealing with the problem is to ask them what their problem with you is if they have not already made it clear. If it is their own personal problem, tell them to seek help and leave you out of it.
  3. 3 Put yourself in your hater’s shoes. You may pore over your past interactions with them and still have no clue why they hate you, but putting yourself in their shoes may help you understand why they act the way they do. The reasons may have nothing to do with you at all, but observing the situation from a new perspective may help you rationalize their ugly behavior.
    • Remember that “hurt people hurt people.” Have you ever met a happy, well-adjusted person who was a bully? Consider that your hater may be deeply unhappy, and this is why they’re lashing out.
    • Showing empathy doesn’t mean you have to excuse their behavior or be kind to them, but it may give you some perspective that can make interacting with them a little more bearable.
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  1. 1 Detach yourself emotionally. Until you emotionally detach yourself from the harassment of a hater, your life will be consumed by fear and discomfort, neither of which makes for a happy existence. You never want to give up on somebody in life, but sometimes you have to prioritize your relationships and what fits your lifestyle.
    • Life is fragile, and it’s important to surround yourself with healthy and supportive people who care about you. Make sure to seek out friends and family when dealing with a hater to support you through the experience.
    • When dealing with a hater, make sure you spend time every day building up your emotional stamina by performing relaxation exercises, focusing on your goals, and being social. This will help ease your mind and reduce your anger and anxiety toward the hater.
  2. 2 Remain positive. Remain positive by doing the things you love and engaging with the people you care about. This will distract you from the situation and help you find your inner peace. You might even want to be nice or friendly to the hater. It is generally harder to hate somebody who is consistently friendly and makes an effort to include everybody.
    • Take what the hater says with a grain of salt. Whatever a hater says, no matter how close to the truth they may twist it, never take it to heart. Just let it bounce off your skin and forgive and forget.
  3. 3 Strengthen your self-confidence. The more you build your self-confidence, the easier it’ll be to ignore your hater’s mean behavior. Self-confidence gives you the power to look at all situations in a positive or neutral way, even with haters. Don’t allow the hater to make you a victim.
    • Try not to dedicate any of your spare time to dwelling on the hater. Instead, stay positive and think about things that are actually important.
    • Remind yourself that what they say is a reflection on themselves, and has no bearing on your worth.
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If the bullying persists, worsens, or becomes physically aggressive, tell someone you trust, like a teacher, a parent, or your boss.

Advertisement Article Summary X The best way to reply to someone who hates you is to demonstrate your control over the situation by walking away. If that’s not possible, do your best to remain calm and avoid a physical confrontation. A controlled response might be to ask the person to explain the source of the problem if the issue isn’t clear.

What are the three reasons why someone hates you?

The Root of Jealously – There’s a quote by an unknown author: “A person hates you for one of three reasons: 1) They want to be you 2) They hate themselves 3) They see you as a threat.” People that are genuinely comfortable with themselves don’t desire to be anyone else.

  1. They are truly happy with their lives, and that allows them to be genuinely happy for someone else and their successes.
  2. When they’re jealous of you, they feel a need to bring you down, maybe say that you don’t deserve what you have or that you were lucky to achieve what you’ve accomplished.
  3. It is possible to be jealous without hating someone.

When someone hates you, their jealousy is exponentially greater, revealing how insecure and unhappy they are with their own lives. This brings us to the second reason: people that are severely insecure and unhappy with their own lives are inclined to hate you.

  • It has nothing to do with you.
  • Their perspective is clouded by their own unhappiness, and they feel the need to bring down others.
  • The last point observes that you will be hated if you are a threat to others.
  • It’s a lot easier for some people to kill the messenger than to admit that they’re wrong.
  • They see being wrong as a sign of weakness.

This is clear in arguments between friends and couples to arguments about more serious topics from politics to religion. Friends and spouses that can’t admit that they’re wrong attack the other person’s character instead. They may not be hating the other person, but they’re definitely not having a discussion about the issue at hand either.

  • When serious ideals and values are at hand such as politics and religion, it’s a lot easier to hate the opposing viewpoint than to admit that there may be another perspective.
  • It’s easier to demonize the enemy than to admit that the opponent may be doing something better than you.
  • Your existence embodies another perspective.

Maybe you spoke out against their ideals. Maybe you are right.

What makes you dislike a person?

Why Do People Hate? – Hate is part of the range of human emotions, Some researchers believe all people have the capacity to hate, while others believe true hatred is uncommon. What does seem clear is that hatred tends to emerge as a learned emotion that flourishes in the absence of compassion,

  • Feel envy or want what the other person has. They may consider it unfair that someone has what they lack.
  • Have contempt for another person or believe them to be inferior.
  • Learn hatred from parents, their community, or other social groups.
  • Are humiliated or mistreated by another person.

People also hate when they feel powerless, Rather than turning their anxiety and shame inward, they may project that negativity onto an external target. In some cases, people who experience bullying or abuse may grow to hate the person who harmed them.

In other cases, a target is hated more for what they represent than for specific actions they have taken. Individuals may believe the target of their hatred has harmful intentions toward them and would hurt them if they could. However, the target may not necessarily have hostile intentions, or the hatred may be disproportional to the injury.

For example, a student may hate a teacher who failed them in a class. The teacher may not have any hostility for the student and could simply be doing their job. However, the student may use the teacher as a stand-in for their frustration with academia as a whole.

Is it okay to be not liked by anyone?

Why It’s Okay To Not Be Liked By Everyone | We The Differents Everyone likes the idea of being ‘liked’. Being liked sure looks good, especially on social media where you can get the numbers on just how popular you and others are; how many followers, how many friends, how many likes, how many comments. Being is something that a lot of us strive for and it’s not necessarily something to feel bad about.

But when we use being liked as a measure of our worth—especially on social media—our desire to be liked can become pretty unhealthy. In our heads, we want to think that those around us like us just as much as we like ourselves. It feels unnatural—and downright scary—to think that there are (or will be) people who won’t necessarily like us.

But here’s the big, earth-shattering truth: it’s okay to not be liked by everyone.

Can you tell if someone hates you?

7 Signs Someone Secretly Hates You – Daily Times 7 Signs Someone Secretly Hates You: When our instincts fail us, it is time to apply our understanding and investigate the global language that is body language. Most individuals will not come out and say they despise you. Maybe a kindergartener throwing a tantrum or like someone who despises you and can’t stand it any longer maybe your ex-wife? Who can say?! But! Nothing to be concerned about! Because do I have the list for you? Here are seven symptoms that someone secretly despises you.1- Their body language is not open Body language can be crucial in determining whether someone likes or dislikes you.

  • According to psychological research, open body language can indicate that someone likes and wants to accept you.
  • They are willing to let you inside their lives, and their body language reflects this.
  • When someone displays closed-off body language, this is not a good indicator.
  • This might be crossed arms, crossed legs, leaning back, sitting as far away from you as humanly can on the couch, or even avoiding you at all costs.

Have you ever noticed how your ‘pleasant’ acquaintance usually leaves the room when you enter? When you do catch them, do they always cross their arms and lean towards the door? They could be protective, implying that there are disagreements of opinion or enmity forming.

  1. They could also be uninterested.
  2. Someone who is bored with you may not detest you.
  3. But they certainly don’t want to be near you.2- They avoid eye contact with you When someone dislikes someone, they may avoid making eye contact.
  4. This, however, is not always the case.
  5. Some people are merely timid, others struggle in social circumstances, and some plain dislike eye contact.

Hey! It can be strange at times! But what if that isn’t the case? When you know the person you’re talking to is not one to avoid a prolonged glance or two, they may avoid your eyes specifically because they don’t like you. They might not want to grab your attention because doing so would require them to talk to you.

And what happens when people don’t want to talk to someone? Avoid at all costs. As a result, avoiding your look is the best option.7 Signs Someone Secretly Hates You But what if this is more than just dislike? And just plain hatred? You could have heard your ex-wife declare she can’t tolerate looking at you.

This is correct! She could be giving you a hint that she simply despises you. Isn’t it ideal to spot the warning indicators as soon as possible? 3- Intense eye contact Concentrating on one thing isn’t usually a good thing. Some people may make excessive eye contact in order to establish a protective position.

  • What if you’re in a heated dispute with someone who tries to appear more dominant? They might give you a hard stare.
  • However, we are typically able to detect this.
  • What we can’t always see is the forced eye contact that some people strive to keep to demonstrate that they are the opposite of what they feel, indifferent.

Remember those who don’t say they despise you? I’m not talking about your ex-wife or your kindergartener; I’m talking about ‘good’ individuals. They may keep awkward eye contact, nodding favorably while you tell your story about the time your wife took the dog and your kids to Florida while the divorce papers were being finalized,but are they truly interested? They may be overcompensating since they realize that avoiding eye contact implies that they are uninterested in you and your tale.

They must have read my advice and decided to avoid eye contact. Smart But not clever enough! 4- They are Fake conversing with you Some people don’t want to be rude. They don’t want to give off the impression that they don’t like someone. Being hostile and angry towards someone can hurt their feelings. To avoid this, people will tend to ‘fake’ being friendly with you.

If someone really doesn’t connect with you they could engage in excessive small talk. Small talk is normal, however! Just be wary about if the other person never opens up to you or says anything that will lead to a deeper relationship. Some people have a hard time getting to know others, so they may use plenty of small talk and fake chuckles here and there to impress you or simply conversate.

5- They don’t mimic. Instead, they reflect the opposite of your body language If you notice that the person you’re talking with isn’t syncing with your vibe by not mirroring with you, then they may just simply not like you.6- They are to the point, and don’t tend to talk further

A simple test to detect if someone dislikes you: ask them about their hobbies, friendships, or something else they enjoy. If they always respond in short and frigid words, or just yes or no answers, chances are they aren’t for you. I mean, consider it.

You don’t talk to someone if you don’t want to. When people detest the person with whom they are conversing, they will not elaborate on their responses. If you like someone, you want to express what excites you. You, too, may experience a surge of eagerness to speak with someone you enjoy being with. As a result, you’ll make it clear by frequently discussing what you appreciate or have in common and responding honestly.7- They don’t get in touch, or stay in touch Is your new friend from the St.

Patrick’s Day party often canceling your plans and always providing an excuse? Another grandmother has died? Again? I’m sorry to break it to you, but a person can only have so many grandmothers. This person is most likely betraying you for a cause. They’re just they don’t like you! If someone does not make an attempt to text, call, or get out with you, they most likely do not respect you as a friend.

They may even despise you if they make arrangements and then fail to follow through with you. It’s advisable to go through all of your previous texts and figure out which buddies are still in touch with you. I’m not talking about the ones from your ex-wife. Allow it to pass. Allow it to go. We already know how much she despises you.

: 7 Signs Someone Secretly Hates You – Daily Times

How does it feel when someone hates you?

What are the signs when someone hates you? If you are the target of someone’s hatred, you might notice that they actively or passively make you feel inferior or try to hurt you. Haters might make negative comments to you or about you. They generally make people feel unliked.

Can you be in love with someone you dislike?

Can You Love Someone You Don’t Like?

Although often correlated, love and like are actually different psychological experiences. Love is an evolutionarily-based drive to help our species survive through passionate, deep feelings for someone or something. Liking someone is a positive evaluation of the person based on who they are.

Source: Kieferpix/Getty Images ” I love my boyfriend, but sometimes I don’t like him very much,” -Anonymous Have you ever noticed that there are people in your life who you love deeply but you don’t really like very much? Or maybe the opposite—people who you really like but can’t seem to fall for or care about as much as you want to? It could be your parent,, friend, lover, or even your ex.

Why is that? How can you love someone you don’t really like? Although love and like often go hand in hand, they’re actually very different experiences that have been explored in psychological research for decades (see ). Generally speaking, love is a drive —it’s our capacity to feel for, desire, and connect with another person that evolutionarily helps our species survive (; ).

It’s that deep feeling of enjoyment, emotion, and affection for another person that emerges, in part, because of our very human need for connection. It’s really a reflection of the profound internal experience of care we experience in response to another person.

  • On the other hand, like is an appreciation for another person based on who they are and the attributes they possess.
  • As described by in his efforts to explore in the 1970s, liking someone is what you would describe about someone that you enjoy, appreciate, and value ().
  • Liking someone requires that you see them as separate from you and evaluate them in an appealing way.

It’s an enjoyment of them because of who they are and the things that you appreciate about them. So, while love and like often go hand in hand—the more you like someone, the more likely you are to feel love for them—that’s not always the case. You’ve probably met people that you would say you love but don’t like.

Even with your dearest friends and family members, it’s likely that you could tell me many things you don’t like about them even though you love them deeply. You also may have exes or unhealthy relationships with people you wish you didn’t love because you really don’t like them or want to feel emotionally connected to them (Warren, in press).

Yet, the love remains. With romantic partners, it’s also common to feel a deep liking for someone who’d rationally be perfect for you, but you can’t seem to fall for them. The naked truth is this: Loving someone is more a reflection of how you feel internally about a person, whereas liking them is an appreciation for who they are.

In this way, you can love someone you really don’t like, or like someone you really don’t love. The goal for most of us is to surround ourselves with people we both like (because we think they are wonderful people) and feel profound love that drives us to connect, attach, and develop a meaningful connection.

When you both love and like someone, it’s the makings of a wonderful relationship. Copyright Cortney S. Warren, Ph.D., ABPP. Note: This content is only for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered or any form of treatment. I cannot respond to personal requests for advice over the internet. More from Psychology Today Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. : Can You Love Someone You Don’t Like?

Why am I so disliked by people?

Most of the time, the feeling that people hate you stems from internalized negative thoughts and emotions, or even just being down because you have some unmet needs. If you suffer from depression or anxiety, you may have this feeling quite often. Remember, it is not your fault that you feel this way.

How to attract someone who hates you?

Download Article Download Article You’re never going to be able to get everyone in the world to like you. That’s just the way it is. However, sometimes you can be put in a situation where someone you really need or want to get along with just doesn’t like you for whatever reason.

  1. 1 Find out if they really and truly hate you. Hate is a strong emotion, one very few people feel casually. Do they actually hate you? Or are you possibly projecting your own negative perception of yourself onto them? That said, the following signs could mean there is some beef between both of you.
    • Intentionally making your life difficult (deliberately annoying you, messing with your work, for instance).
    • Ignoring your words and conversations, especially when you’re trying to speak with him/her.
    • Talking trash about you behind your back.
    • Throwing unwarranted cruel language and insults your way at every opportunity.
    • Acting rude to you, but being very kind to others. Also, if he/she suddenly acts angry or annoyed around you when he/she didn’t seem to be before, that’s a sign that they don’t like you.
  2. 2 Dig into the reason they dislike you so much. Just be straightforward and ask them.90% of the jerks harboring hateful feelings won’t have much to say back to you – they’re just angry people. When confronted, they’ll stammer, hem, and haw, because there is usually no good reason to hate you. But, if they do respond, you’ll have a chance to make things right:
    • If they are uncomfortable, just flash them your pearly whites and say, “It’s all right. Let’s just try and be better friends in the future.” If that seems a bit condescending, you can go with, “I understand if you’d rather not talk about it. I just noticed that you don’t seem to like me and was curious.”
    • If they tell you a reason why, say “That’s good to know. I’m working on being a better person, and not doing _.” If you can give them a concrete step, like you’re trying to make less of a mess in the work kitchen to be more respectful, let them know.
    • If their reason is unreasonable or dumb, just admit that not everyone’s perfect and move on. Don’t waste any more breath trying to tame a jerk who doesn’t want to be tamed or hates you for a really immature reason.
    • They might say that they “just don’t like you”. If that’s the case, accept that some people just can’t bring themselves to like certain others. It’s nothing personal.


  3. 3 Look back on your past few interactions. Did you blow them off? Forget a favor? Insult them casually? Embarrass them? Maybe you’ve been a bit braggadocious lately without even knowing it – complaining about a the maid being late when they can hardly afford a broom, for example. Really dive deep into your personal interactions with them (you’re not perfect either!) and then try and make it right by bringing up any slights.
  4. 4 Address the problem head on. Once you know what the issues is, you have to make an effort to fix it. Don’t get snippy and fight them (“I was not rude to you, you were just being a sensitive wuss!”). Smile, apologize when needed, and make a plan to do better next time.
    • Be direct without being pushy. For example, say one of your coworkers hates you because you backed into his car a few weeks ago. “Listen, I’m really sorry about your car. I made a mistake, and I shouldn’t have been so careless. I feel horrible, and I want to find a way to make it up to you.”
    • If you still don’t know what caused the problem, say something like, “Hey, I’m not sure what’s up, but I’ve noticed that you’re kind of upset with me. I hope I haven’t done something to piss you off. What’s up?”
  5. 5 Not everyone is going to like you – deal with it. In fact, this is a good thing! If you’re living your life and staying true to yourself, you’re not going to get along with all seven plus billion people on the planet. If you have tried everything else and the person still hates you, then that’s how the other person is.
    • Ask yourself why you want to improve your relationship with someone who doesn’t like you, especially if the way they treat you affects your self-esteem and confidence.
    • Hate is an extreme, passionate emotion. If someone is so invested in disliking you, then they likely have other things going on in their life that have made them so angry and upset.
  6. 6 Avoid the person to avoid the hatred. This isn’t always possible, but put them out of your life if you can. Remove the problem from your life. There’s no benefit to having someone like that around, so block their calls, ignore them on your way in the door, and banish their existence from your brain. Most bullies and haters will run out of material once you stop interacting with them. Don’t give them your time. Don’t put yourself at risk of verbal abuse.
  7. 7 Move on. Make friends with other people. Plenty of other people will like you, and some people will hate you. That’s just the way the world works. Move on and start fresh with someone new. Don’t let it grind you down, because that’s what the haters want. You’ve already risen above them by trying to make things right. Leave the rest of the haters in your metaphorical moral dust.
    • Remember the quote, “haters gonna hate”. Truer words have never been spoken. Don’t let your life revolve around someone who hates you.
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  1. 1 Lend a helping hand to your so-called “enemy. ” You don’t want to – no one wants to help out a jerk – but you should. Find ways to be supportive and helpful around this person, in ways that make the most of your own strengths. Just do small things without calling attention to the favor.
    • If they don’t have any lunch at lunch time, offer to give them something of yours.
    • If they make a joke that they and their friends find funny, laugh.
    • If they respond with anger or hatred to your kindness, just walk away. It’s a defense mechanism for the hurt and lonely – not true hatred.
  2. 2 Make them help you. Studies show that this is even better than helping the other person out. And you get free labor! Keep the request small and manageable, or honor them with a bigger collaborative task if you’re feeling bold. They’ll feel good about helping you out, which makes them feel good about you.
    • Trying to win over someone by harming yourself is pointless. If they’re going to screw it up intentionally, then forget them. You’ll find plenty of other friends who aren’t so cruel.
  3. 3 Make an effort to have regular conversations. Make the first move in order to fix any broken friendship. Invite them for tea, go see a movie, go on a double date, or just stop by their desk. Get out there and talk to each other. A lot of the time, people only hate others because they don’t know or understand them.
    • “How was your day/weekend?” is the simplest, but most effective token of friendship you can offer, and you can use it anytime, anywhere.
    • Ask questions about them instead of talking about you. He already hates you, so giving him more of you isn’t doing you any favors, right? But people love to talk about themselves. Focus on listening, getting to know where they come from so you can become a better friend.
    • Find shared interests. Solving the hatred isn’t necessarily enough – not if you want to ever be friends with someone. Try to find something that you can talk about together. Maybe you both like the same sport, or riding motorcycles, or dancing, or collectible cookie jars.
  4. 4 See them outside of your normal hater-habitat, like work or school. Get them to go out with you somewhere, usually as part of a group. More likely than not, they will not accept an invitation just to hang with you – and you’re not going to have a great time with someone who hates you. But, in groups, a casual setting is the perfect place to strike up conversations that lead towards friendships.
  5. 5 Be friendly with their friends. Once his or her friends realize you’re not the second coming of Satan, it’s going to be a lot harder to hate you. You aren’t stealing friends, by the way (and you thought he hated you now!), you’re just being your friendly, personable self. Whether you notice or not, his friends get to work on the hater for you.
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Add New Question

  • Question What do you do when someone hates you for no reason? Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices.
    • Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago.
    • Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level.

    Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Answer Being around somebody who doesn’t like you, doesn’t respect you or treat you well doesn’t do wonderful things for self-esteem and confidence. If you must interact with someone who is not pleasant, keep interactions short and conversations brief unless necessary. Remember, you are good enough, smart enough and people like you.

  • Question How do you know if a person hates you? Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices.
    1. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago.
    2. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level.

    Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Answer We often think someone doesn’t like us because we have a negative perception of ourselves and that is something we must improve on our own in order to have meaningful relationships. If you really feel as though there is validity to your perception, it’s important to have a goal in mind for what you want the relationship to look like and for what to do.

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  • Don’t try too hard to impress the other person. Act normal and be yourself. If you’re totally desperate, then maybe you should find some other friends that you can rely on because even if you did befriend this person, you probably wouldn’t be able to trust them in the same way as you trust your real friends. They should like you for who you are.
  • Try to find out what type of person he/she really is. Find something in common so that you can work around that. You’re probably less different than you two seem!
  • Be polite. Ask the basics when the person visits you, such as “Would you like a drink?”, “Are you cold?” or “Are you hungry?”. If you see them in a work setting, ask, “How was your weekend?” or, “What did you think of the meeting last week?

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  • Some people will take advantage of you. Be careful.
  • They might question why you want them to like you or be your friend, especially if you have a past with the other person. You will need to work hard to get past this.
  • Avoid being rude back. If someone is going to go out of their way to bring you down, don’t do the same to them. Just keep living your life as you like it and know that people who bring others down have the most issues.
  • Don’t let them manipulate you. If they know that you want them to like you, they could easily use that against you.
  • Don’t obsess over one person not liking you. It’s not worth it, and you’ll just look crazy.
  • Respect the other person’s wishes if they tell you that they don’t want to be friends with you, even if you have been very nice to them. You’re not owed friendship, and you’d want someone else to respect your decision.

Advertisement Article Summary X To get someone who hates you to like you, try engaging them in regular conversations to show that you care and want to become better friends. For example, when you see them, ask “How’s your day going?” or “Did you have a good weekend?” Alternatively, find ways to be helpful without calling attention to the favor.

  1. If the person forgot their lunch, for example, offer them something from your own lunch.
  2. However, if they respond with anger or indifference, just walk away and spend your time and energy on someone who does like you.
  3. For more advice, including how to get to the bottom of why the other person hates you, keep reading.

Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 846,073 times.

What is the root cause of hate?

What are the root causes of hate? – Hate is based in issues of power and control. Hate comes from the idea that certain people can or should have power and control over others. These ideas come from our history where certain people took power over others. These ideas are built into systems that help certain people keep their power. Hate starts from negative assumptions, images and beliefs about a certain group. These negative assumptions are called stereotypes. In times of crisis, stereotypes can become stronger and lead to hate toward members of a group. For example, during the Pandemic <!- wp:paragraph -> <p>A pandemic is the worldwide spread of a disease. The World Health Organization labelled COVID-19 a pandemic on 11 March 2020.</p> <!- /wp:paragraph -> ” href=”” data-mobile-support=”0″ data-gt-translate-attributes=””>pandemic, beliefs about diseases coming from Asia increased hate against Asians. Hate has always existed in our province but it has increased during the COVID-19 pandemic. “The hate that has always been there is no longer skulking in dark corners, as it were. Now, it’s out there. Hate and the people who spread it have kind of gone mainstream. It’s no longer considered to be taboo”

What is the psychology of disliking someone?

Why do we instantly dislike someone? – Imagine you’re driving on a highway, listening to music. You see an obstacle on the road and quickly steer your car to the side. It all happens in the blink of an eye. Your conscious mind tries to process what happened after the event.

Later, you find out that there was an oil spill on the road that made it look like a giant pothole. Based on what your subconscious mind registered (‘Danger! Pothole ahead!’), you made a snap judgment and decision. If it were indeed a giant pothole, you’d be in serious trouble. Our mind doesn’t want to take any chances with potentially life-threatening events.

The same applies to threatening people. Almost always, when we instinctively dislike someone, they’re a perceived pothole we’re quickly trying to avoid. They represent a threat to us. Hatred is a defense mechanism of the mind to protect us from perceived or actual threats.

What to say when your crush hates you?

Download Article Download Article It can be difficult to talk to your crush, but even more so to a crush who hates you. Sometimes if someone hates you, there has been a misunderstanding. By clearing up why they hate you and winning over your crush by being kind and easygoing, you’ll be able to talk to your crush in no time.

  1. 1 Find out why they hate you through a friend. Seek out a mutual friend to better understand why your crush might hate you. Sometimes your crush doesn’t hate you at all, and your perception is wrong.
    • You could ask a friend by saying, “I’d really like to get to know John better, but I think he hates me. Do you know if there’s any truth to that?”
  2. 2 Address any misunderstandings. Your crush might hate you because of a misunderstanding. Clearing this up can bring you two closer together. Let’s say you found out from your friend that your crush saw you in their open locker, and this is the reason they hate you. You could approach your crush and try to clear things up.
    • For example, you could say, “Hey, I think you may dislike me because you believe I stole something out of your locker. I wanted to let you know that the reason I was in your locker at all was because the school administrator thought no one was using it. She opened it for me with a master key. It was purely an accident.”
    • You could say, “I totally understand why you might think that was a strange thing to see. If I were you I’d probably think so too.”


  3. 3 Apologize and make things right, if needed. If your crush has a real reason to have bad feelings towards you, apologize to them to try to make things right. Be genuine in your apology and try to say plainly that what you did was wrong. Don’t try to justify your actions.
    • For example, if your crush hates you because you made fun of them in public, you could say, “Hey, I’ve had some time to think about that, and I wanted to let you know how sorry I am. That was not right and I won’t do it again”.
    • Another apology could go, “I’m sorry I participated in that mean prank we pulled on you. I really regret doing it. I promise I won’t do it again”.
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  1. 1 Choose a good time to talk. Find a good time to approach your crush when neither of you is busy. By catching them at an opportune moment, they’re more likely to be receptive to conversation. Make sure you pick a time when they are not busy working on something or engaged in conversation with someone else.
    • If you see your crush sitting on a bench, you could say, “Hey! Mind if I sit with you?” or “It’s a beautiful day out, isn’t it?”
  2. 2 Smile. A smile makes you seem happy and open. To appeal most to your crush, flash them a smile to let them know you’re feeling friendly. If you feel intimidated, imagine your crush as an old friend to feel more at ease.
  3. 3 Try easy conversation starters. If you’re not sure what to say when you approach your crush, try some easy phrases that can kick off any conversation. These don’t have to be particularly loaded or customized to your crush, just break the ice.
    • You could say, “So, what are you up to this weekend?” or “Have you done anything fun lately?”
    • Other examples are “Do you know what the weather’s supposed to be like this week?” or “What was the highlight of your day today?”
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  1. 1 Discuss mutual friends. If you and your crush have friends in common, they can be a great source of conversation. Try to incorporate your mutual friends in a group hangout or simply discuss how you got to know someone you are both close to. You may discover new things in common.
    • You could say, “I met Damien in cross country because we both love running. I think you’re friends with Damien too. How did you guys meet?” or “Sarah and I met at a poetry slam. I think I saw you hanging out. How do you guys know each other?”
  2. 2 Draw on joint activities. It’s possible you and your crush already have certain activities like sports or classes in common. To make for easy conversation, try to draw on shared experiences at school.
    • For example, you could say, “I thought school assembly was really funny on Tuesday. What did you think?” or “Did you see the school soccer match Friday night? It was really close.”
    • If your crush’s favorite activity is yoga, try to do a yoga class with them.
  3. 3 Ask about their interests. Ask your crush thoughtful questions about their hobbies to engage them in a positive way. It shows you’ve been paying attention to the things that are important to them and are interested in getting to know them better.
    • You could say, “I noticed you play tennis. Did you watch Wimbledon this year?” or “I liked the cookies you brought in to homeroom. What’s your favorite thing to bake?”
  4. 4 Be kind, not argumentative. Do not engage your crush in a debate or argument, which can feel badgering, even if you like to do that with your friends. Try to be your kindest most appealing self. You can do this by paying an earnest compliment or exhibiting common kindness.
    • For example, you could say, “Hey, I really like that sweater. It looks nice on you,” or “I bought an extra soda at the vending machine. Would you like to have it?”
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Add New Question

  • Question What if all your friends hate him? What if he thinks you hate him too? Sounds like there are some misunderstandings to clear up if he thinks you hate him. If all your friends hate him, find out why. Is their reasoning justified or not?
  • Question What if your crush is nice? Then you can be nice right back!
  • Question What if you and your friend have the same crush? Then no one should pursue him or her. The friendship should come first.

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  • If your crush ignores you, you may want to forget about him or her. He or she may hate you even if you never did anything; for example, this hatred could have arisen from low self-esteem.
  • It will take some time if they hate you for them to like you again. Don’t get frustrated, aggravated, or impatient. Forgiveness isn’t always easy.

Advertisement Article Summary X You may be feeling bad if you think your crush hates you, but if you carefully approach them and clear up any resentment, you’ll improve your chances of having a good conversation. If you’re not sure why they hate you, try asking a mutual friend.

Sometimes, your crush doesn’t hate you at all and you’ve been worried about nothing! If they do have a problem with you, apologize and make things right. For example, if you pulled a prank on them you could say, “I’m sorry we pulled that mean prank on you. I really regret doing that and I won’t do it again.” Once you’re on their good side, try talking to them more.

Conversation starters like, “So, what are you up to this weekend?” or “Have you done anything fun lately?” are a good place to start. To learn how to keep conversations with your crush interesting, read on! Did this summary help you? Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 155,425 times.