Ignoring Pain Quotes


Ignoring Pain Quotes

Why is ignoring painful?

Worse still, studies have shown that the pain of being ignored is worse than being bullied. – You are experiencing social pain, which you feel when you’re being ignored, overlooked or rejected. The problem being social pain is very real because it shares common neural pathways to physical pain.

Why is ignoring so powerful?

Why Ignoring Is Powerful – Ignoring is powerful because of this thing called attention. Humans crave it. Heck, BEINGS crave it. If you have a pet, then you know that it wants your love from time to time. Why? You are a human and your pet is an animal. That doesn’t make any logical sense.

It doesn’t need to. Attention is a driver of action in a lot of our moves. The reason ignoring is powerful is that you take away what this individual lowkey desires, I said earlier that most toxic people are lowkey happy when you plot revenge. You are giving them attention. ‘But it’s not the good kind of attention though!’ It doesn’t matter.

Low lives don’t care if its good attention or not. People with integrity and high valued individual have tiers to their attention. They clearly don’t want negative publicity. Because that just hurts their reputation. If they are going to get publicity, then they will opt to get it the ethical way.

Much more effective long term. But low lives? It doesn’t matter. Any attention is good attention. You ever met that person who is like ‘I hate dramaOMG.’ But is ALWAYS surrounded by drama? This is an example of someone cherishing attention. No filters needed. Ignoring is powerful because you take what they desire, away.

Lowkey, this ends up turning into a form of revenge without you even trying to do so. To take it another further, invest in yourself. Know that you are better off without the snake in your life. Then act like it. First, you opt out of revenge mode. Then, you opt in to ignore.

Why is ignoring toxic?

Why Ignoring Is Abuse – Here’s why the silent treatment can be damaging:

It can cause emotional trauma, A person who is ignored feels a wide range of confusing emotions. They may feel anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, despair, and loneliness, all at once. Naturally, such emotional confusion can have a damaging effect on your psyche. It can decrease your sense of self-worth, When you give someone the silent treatment, you are showing them that they are insignificant, unworthy and unlovable. It can greatly deplete their self-esteem, leaving serious consequences. It can cause physical issues as well, When you are ignored, a part of your brain responsible for detecting pain will activate, telling you that you’re, in fact, being physically hurt. This can also cause digestive problems, headaches, insomnia, and other physical ailments. It can have serious consequences, The silent treatment, when used for long enough, can have a severely negative effect on a person’s mental and physical health, even after the period of abuse is over and done with. It can manipulate you into doing things you wouldn’t otherwise do, Since it has such an intense effect on your emotional state, the silent treatment can cause you to do almost anything in your power to gain the manipulator’s attention.

Because of the considerable power that the silent treatment can give one person over another, it is a favorite tactic of narcissistic and manipulative individuals. Of course, the person ignoring you may not actually be trying to manipulate you. However, if it is used as a form of punishment, lasts for longer periods of time, and ends only if you give in or apologize, it’s more than likely that your partner is using the silent treatment to control you.

Is it okay to ignore someone who hurt you?

Easy Ways to Ignore Someone Who Hurt You: 11 Steps (with Pictures)

  1. 1, If another person is intentionally trying to hurt or upset you, it’s important not to give them what they want. On the other hand, if they’re not being intentionally hurtful, reacting with anger can escalate the situation unnecessarily. Even if you’re furious, sad, or scared, do your best to appear calm and collected. You may find it helpful to:
    • in through your nose and out through your mouth.
    • Slowly count to 10 in your head.
    • Keep your face neutral and expressionless.
  2. 2 Keep silent if you can’t think of anything constructive to say. If someone’s being rude or hurtful to you, you may feel the urge to lash out or strike back with harsh words of your own. However, doing so will probably only make the situation worse. Instead of blurting out the first thing that comes into your head in the heat of the moment, stop and think about whether what you want to say is necessary, true, or helpful. If not, don’t say it!
    • Resist the urge to yell, cry, or insult the other person. Try gently biting your tongue or putting your finger to your lips if you feel tempted to snap back or speak before you think.
    • If do you want to respond, but you need time to calm down and choose your words first, try saying, “Excuse me, I need a moment.” Step out of the room so you can calm down.

    Tip: If you’re struggling to think of what to say after someone is rude to you, go for a walk. Not only will it give you time to calm down, but getting your body moving literally helps you think better! Advertisement

  3. 3 Walk away if the other person is being intentionally hurtful. If you’re pretty sure the other person is intentionally bullying you or trying to hurt your feelings, simply walking away may be the best way to deal with the situation. This will let them know that you are not interested in engaging with their hurtful and inappropriate behavior.
    • If you feel comfortable doing so, calmly say something like, “Stop doing that,” or “The way you’re acting is out of line. I’m leaving.”
    • If you can’t just walk away, use your actions to show the other person you’re not willing to interact. For example, you might take out your phone and start playing a game, put in your earbuds, or turn away and talk to someone else who is with you.
  4. 4 Respond if the person is someone you know. Sometimes ignoring somebody isn’t the best reaction to hurtful behavior. For example, if the person who hurt you is a family member, friend, or coworker, it might be better to calmly confront them and let them know how their behavior affects you. Ignoring them will likely lead to festering resentments and won’t solve the problem.
    • For example, you might say something like, “When you call me names like that, I feel very hurt and disrespected. Stop treating me that way.”
    • If a stranger is rude to you or you feel that the situation is a one-time incident, it may be best to simply ignore what happened and move on.
  5. 5 if the behavior is a pattern. If you’re dealing with someone who regularly behaves in hurtful ways, it may be helpful to set and enforce some boundaries with them. Let them know that you won’t respond to the hurtful behavior anymore. Make sure to follow through on the consequences you set.
    • Sometimes it’s helpful to offer an alternative to the hurtful behavior. That way, you can ignore the bad behavior but reinforce the better alternative.
    • For example, say something like, “I’m not going to have a conversation with you if you laugh at me or insult me. We can talk when you’re ready to be respectful and really listen to what I have to say.”
  6. 6 Get away and find help if you feel like you’re in danger. If you feel physically threatened, don’t try to confront the person. Get away from them as quickly as possible and find someone who can help you or as soon as it’s safe to do so.
    • If someone is threatening you or physically abusing you, don’t ignore it! Even if you walk away from the situation, they might continue the behavior later or hurt someone else. Report the abusive behavior to someone in authority.
    • If you have to be around the person again, try to bring somebody with you. They can act as a witness to any more abusive behavior or help keep the bully in check.
  7. Advertisement

  1. 1 Allow yourself to feel upset about what happened. If somebody’s done something really hurtful, it’s natural to feel bad about it. Trying to ignore or deny your feelings won’t make them go away, and might even make you feel worse. Instead, put a name to what you’re feeling and allow yourself to experience your emotions without judgment.
    • When you have a moment, sit somewhere quiet and just breathe and think about how you are feeling. For example, you might think to yourself, “I’m feeling tense and embarrassed. I’m really upset about how Allie behaved at my birthday party.”
    • Spend some time thinking about whether there’s anything in your past that this is bringing up for you. If you can understand what’s being triggered, it can help you put what just happened into perspective.

    Tip: is a great way to get in touch with and work through difficult emotions. Take a few minutes each day to meditate on how you are feeling in the moment, physically and emotionally.

  2. 2 Try to understand the person’s motives. Consider what might have been going on in the other person’s mind to trigger their behavior. Maybe they were having a bad day and were lashing out at everyone around them, or perhaps they simply didn’t realize how hurtful their behavior was. Even if it’s clear that the other person was being intentionally mean, remember that people usually behave that way because of their own insecurities.
    • Understanding or empathizing with the other person’s motives doesn’t mean you have to excuse their behavior. However, it can help you make sense of their behavior and feel less hurt and confused by it.
  3. 3 Acknowledge that the other person’s hurtful behavior is not your fault. Remember that no matter what led up to your hurtful encounter with the other person, they made the choice to act the way they did. Their behavior says more about them than it does about you.
    • On the other side of the coin, acknowledge that the other person doesn’t control your feelings or behaviors, either. It’s okay to feel hurt, but recognize that your hurt feelings are your own.
  4. 4 Work on solving the problem instead of ignoring the other person. Ignoring somebody is not always a helpful or healthy way to deal with conflict. In fact, intentionally ignoring someone or giving them the silent treatment can be extremely hurtful. If the person who hurt you is a friend, loved one, significant other, or coworker, about how you feel and discussing ways to deal with the problem is usually a better option.
    • For example, you might say, “I feel really hurt when you call me immature during an argument. Can we work on finding some better ways to express our frustration with each other, instead of using insults?”
  5. 5 Minimize your contact with the person if necessary. If you’re dealing with someone who regularly hurts you or disrespects your boundaries, your best bet may be to avoid them as much as possible or even cut ties altogether. If you feel you owe the person an explanation for why you are avoiding them, then calmly let them know that you have been repeatedly hurt by their behavior and are cutting ties for the sake of your own wellbeing.
    • If you can’t avoid the person altogether—for example, if they are a coworker or a family member who lives with you—be civil, but don’t seek out their company. If you can, have another person with you when you have to interact with them.
  6. Advertisement

Ask a Question Advertisement This article was co-authored by and by wikiHow staff writer,, Dr. Lena Dicken is a Clinical Psychologist based in Santa Monica, California. With over eight years of experience, Dr. Dicken specializes in therapy for anxiety, depression, life transitions, and relationship difficulties.

She utilizes an integrative approach combining Psychodynamic, Cognitive Behavioral, and Mindfulness-based therapies. Dr. Dicken holds a BS in Integrative Medicine from the University of Hawaii at Manoa, an MA in Counseling Psychology from Argosy University Los Angeles, and a Doctor of Psychology (Psy.D) in Clinical Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology at Westwood.

Dr. Dicken’s work has been featured in GOOP, The Chalkboard Magazine, and in numerous other articles and podcasts. She is a licensed psychologist with the state of California. This article has been viewed 140,279 times.

  • Co-authors: 5
  • Updated: January 4, 2021
  • Views: 140,279


Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 140,279 times.

“I’m not a person who can stay quit when I am getting hurtful words but now I know when he starts again, to count to 10 and take a breath or just walk away.”,”

: Easy Ways to Ignore Someone Who Hurt You: 11 Steps (with Pictures)

Is it wise to ignore someone?

Is it okay to ignore someone? It’s always okay to have a personal boundary but know that you cannot control whether or not someone gets hurt. It’s okay to feel bad that you’re ignoring someone, as well. Choosing to ignore someone is not an easy decision, but it sometimes needs to be done.

Is it OK to ignore someone who ignores you?

9 Easy Ways to Ignore Someone Who Ignores You Feeling ignored is surprisingly painful. You might find that you’re constantly thinking about the person and wondering what’s happened or what you can do to fix things. Being ignored can eventually damage your and feelings of happiness.

  1. Don’t try to communicate with the person if they’re ignoring you. Sometimes, you just need a break from them and it might be what they need, too. There’s no need to make a scene or dramatically announce that you’re giving them space—just go somewhere else and catch a break.
    • Obviously, this might not be possible if you live with the person. In this case, you both may need a few hours of space to just cool off. For instance, give your roommate or partner a break and get out of your home for a while.
    • If a co-worker is ignoring you, try to leave the issue at work. When you go home, don’t allow yourself to even think about it.
  2. Advertisement

  1. Take a class on something you’re interested in or, Focus on your instead of worrying about the person ignoring you. Learning something new or devoting your time to something you care about will really help you move on and can take the sting out of feeling ignored.
    • For example, enroll in a language class at a community college or volunteer at an, Sometimes, just getting outside of your own problems can make them feel smaller.
  1. with friends and family instead of stressing. It might seem difficult to take your mind off of the person who’s ignoring you, but it’s easier if you’re and in a, Hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself!
    • If a partner or family member is ignoring you, talk it out with your friends or just enjoy getting out and taking a mental break.
  2. Advertisement

  1. Do activities that boost your, It’s really hard to not take it personally when someone ignores you—consequently, your self-esteem might be really low. Instead of putting all your mental energy into thinking about the other person, take time for yourself! This is especially important if someone really close to you is ignoring you. Practice self-care so you feel more positive. You might:
    • Go out for a movie with friends.
    • Get moving—go out for a jog or go climbing.
    • Eat out at your favorite restaurant.
    • Pick up a book by your favorite author.
  1. Take a moment to identify your emotions. If someone’s ignoring you, you may immediately want to ignore them, but it’s important to figure out how you feel. When they ignore you do you feel hurt? Neglected? Embarrassed? Accept your feelings so you know how to move forward.
    • For instance, you might think, “It really makes me angry when Tina ignores me. We’re supposed to be best friends!” or, “I’m embarrassed when Jose ignores me—he’s my brother after all.”
    • If someone you don’t know very well ignores you, you may decide that the relationship isn’t worth it. However, if a relative or partner ignores you, it’s really important to identify how it affects you.
  2. Advertisement

  1. Think about whether you’ve tried to communicate with them. It is possible that they’re in a bad mood and aren’t aware that they’re being quiet with you. You might ask them a question or try to start a simple conversation to see how they respond—you may find that they begin talking and weren’t really ignoring you in the first place.
    • While you’re thinking about it, what frame of mind are you in? If you’re in a bit of a negative mood or worried about your relationship with this person, you might be reading too much into things.
    • If you don’t know someone very well, you might be misreading their quiet or shy nature. For instance, a co-worker might not be ignoring you—they may just be,
  1. Don’t assume that they’re the reason they’re shutting down. When someone ignores you, it can feel like they’re personally attacking you, but pause and ask yourself what else is going on with them. Are they feeling insecure about something? Maybe they’re frustrated or angry about something happening with their job or life.
    • For example, your partner might be worried about a project at work or a relative might be dwelling on a health concern.
    • Try not to let their silence make you unhappy. Focus on your needs and mental health.
  2. Advertisement

  1. Acknowledge the cold shoulder treatment and plan to talk. It’s one thing if an acquaintance or co-worker ignores you, but it’s another thing if your partner does it. Ignoring their treatment of you can harm your relationship, so tell them you’re noticing and discuss a later time to talk.
    • For instance, say, “I notice that you’ve shut down and you’re not talking to me. I don’t know if it’s because you’re stressed or work’s tough, and I know you don’t want to talk, but let’s make a plan to talk tomorrow about what’s been happening.”
    • It’s important to take time and communicate how you want to be treated.

Talk with a couple’s if silence is affecting your relationship. Every couple goes through bumpy patches, but if your partner uses silence as a way to punish or hurt you and they do this repeatedly, it’s time to get help. Encourage your partner to attend couple’s counseling to improve your communication. Advertisement

Ask a Question Advertisement This article was co-authored by and by wikiHow staff writer,, Hyungbum Kang is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker based in Honolulu, Hawaii. With over a decade of experience, Hyungbum specializes in using an integrated therapeutic approach to treat ADHD, Anger Management, Depression, and other mental health and social work struggles.

He received a Bachelor’s degree in English and Master’s degrees in Sociology and Social Work. Hyungbum earned an MBA from Hawaii Pacific University (HPU) and is working on his Doctor of Psychology from HPU. He is a member of the American Psychological Association, the International Honor Society in Psychology, the National Association of Social Workers, and the California Consortium of Addiction Programs and Professionals.

This article has been viewed 202,838 times.

  • Co-authors: 4
  • Updated: November 11, 2022
  • Views: 202,838


Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 202,838 times. : 9 Easy Ways to Ignore Someone Who Ignores You

Is ignoring the best revenge?

‘By. acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence. and credibility.’ – Robert Greene.

Is ignoring someone manipulative?

The silent treatment, or stonewalling, is a passive-aggressive form of manipulation and can be considered emotional abuse. It is a way to control another person by withholding communication, refusing to talk, or ignoring the person.

Why does silent treatment hurt?

Physical response and side effects – A 2012 study shows that the silent treatment stimulates the anterior cingulate cortex, which is the same area in the brain that registers pain. This means that people not only feel emotional pain when given the silent treatment but also a certain level of physical pain.

This can lead to damaging physical side effects if someone is repeatedly ostracized by someone important to them. Physical responses such as weight changes, rising blood pressure, and sleep disturbance have all been found. The silent treatment isn’t uniformly used in the same way and for the same reasons.

Although it’s leveraged by many as a response to conflict or hurt, the motivations can vary depending upon the individual employing it and the situation.

Conflict avoidance: For those who tend to take a passive approach to potential conflict, the silent treatment can be used as a way to avoid dealing with any uncomfortable situation directly. Punishment: A person with a more aggressive personality may use the silent treatment to punish someone by withholding communication. Selective topic avoidance: Someone who’s feeling overwhelmed by feelings they can’t (or won’t) deal with may use the silent treatment to completely ignore and disregard a topic altogether.

The reasons and ways the silent treatment is used in each of these instances may be different, but the result is the same. Pain for the people involved and damage to the relationship between them. Communication is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship.

Refusing to engage, especially during times of conflict, is the antithesis of this. No matter how it’s being used, the silent treatment can be perceived by the recipient as a form of rejection and ostracization. This will wound the person experiencing it and can cause irreparable damage to the relationship.

Some of the effects of the silent treatment in relationships are:

Broken trust: The pain of rejection that’s experienced can damage and even destroy the emotional trust between you and your partner. A person experiencing the silent treatment may think, “I don’t trust that they won’t hurt me. In fact, I actually trust that they will hurt me again.” Resentment: Because the silent treatment can lead people to behave in ways they feel aren’t fair (i.e., unnecessary apologies or taking on someone else’s responsibilities), resentment can build over time and cause damage to a relationship. Decreased intimacy: When trust is broken, resentment builds in a relationship and walls can go up. These walls can create barriers to emotional and physical intimacy.

When these become factors in a relationship it can impact your satisfaction, happiness, and commitment — all of which can leave the relationship vulnerable to additional problems. Falling into the category of abusive behavior certainly hasn’t stopped its use, particularly as a response to conflict is extremely common.

What type of person gives the silent treatment?

Social ostracism has been a common punishment for millennia. But freezing someone out harms both the victim and the perpetrator. Getty / Adam Maida / The Atlantic Kipling Williams has studied the effects of the silent treatment for more than 36 years, meeting hundreds of victims and perpetrators in the process: A grown woman whose father refused to speak with her for six months at a time as punishment throughout her life.

“Her father died during one of those dreaded periods,” Williams told me. “When she visited him at the hospital shortly before his death, he turned away from her and wouldn’t break his silence even to say goodbye.” A father who stopped talking to his teenage son and couldn’t start again, despite the harm he knew he was causing.

“The isolation made my son change from a happy, vibrant boy to a spineless jellyfish, and I knew I was the cause,” the father said to Williams. A wife whose husband severed communication with her early in their marriage. “She endured four decades of silence that started with a minor disagreement and only ended when her husband died,” Williams said.

  • Forty years of eating meals by herself, watching television by herself—40 years of being invisible.
  • When I asked her why she stayed with him for all that time,” Williams said, “she answered simply, ‘Because at least he kept a roof over my head.'” A teacher.
  • A sibling.
  • A grandparent. A friend.
  • Each story that Williams, a psychology professor at Purdue University, told me was more heartbreaking than the one before.

As I listened, the question that lingered most was How could these people do this to those closest to them? The silent treatment goes by many names: shunning, social isolation, stonewalling, ghosting. Although psychologists have nuanced definitions for each term, they are all essentially forms of ostracism.

And the tactic is nothing new. Ancient Greeks expelled for 10 years citizens who were thought to be a threat to democracy, and early American settlers banished people accused of practicing witchcraft. Religions have frozen out individuals for centuries: Catholics call it excommunication, herem is the highest form of punishment in Judaism, and the Amish practice Meidung,

The Church of Scientology recommends total ” disconnection ” from anyone deemed antagonistic toward the religion. “My research suggests that two in three individuals have used the silent treatment against someone else; even more have had it done to them,” Williams said.

Experts told me that although they need more data to know for certain, instances of the silent treatment have likely increased over the years as new forms of communication have been invented, “Every new method of connection can be used as a form of disconnection,” Williams said. Ostracism can also manifest in lesser ways: someone walking out of the room in the middle of a conversation, a friend at school looking the other way when you wave at them, or a person addressing comments from everyone in a message thread except you.

“Partial ostracism,” Williams told me, might mean monosyllabic replies—a terse period at the end of a one-word text message. But in serious cases, ostracism can take a heavy toll whereby victims become anxious, withdrawn, depressed, or even suicidal. “Because we humans require social contact for our mental health, the ramifications of isolation can be severe,” Joel Cooper, a psychology professor at Princeton, told me.

  • In the short term, the silent treatment causes stress.
  • In the long term, the stress can be considered abuse.” Read: The particular cruelty of domestic violence Although a perpetrator might use the silent treatment in many different scenarios, this is what every scenario has in common: “People use the silent treatment because they can get away with it without looking abusive to others,” Williams explained, “and because it’s highly effective in making the targeted individual feel bad.” The silent treatment is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it might force the victim to reconcile with the perpetrator in an effort to end the behavior, even if the victim doesn’t know why they’re apologizing.

“It’s especially controlling because it deprives both sides from weighing in,” Williams said. “One person does it to the other person, and that person can’t do anything about it.” The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control.

  • Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
  • A person may be flooded with feelings they can’t put into words, so they just shut down,” Anne Fishel, the director of the Family and Couples Therapy Program at Massachusetts General Hospital, told me.
  • But regardless of the reason for the silent treatment, it can be received by victims as ostracism.

One study found that social rejection provoked a response in its victims similar to that of victims of physical abuse; the anterior cingulate cortex area of the brain—the area thought to interpret emotion and pain—was active in both instances. “Exclusion and rejection literally hurt,” John Bargh, a psychology professor at Yale, told me.

But the silent treatment ultimately harms the person causing it, too. Humans are predisposed to reciprocate social cues, so ignoring someone goes against our nature, Williams said. The perpetrator is therefore forced to justify the behavior in order to keep doing it; they keep in mind all the reasons they’re choosing to ignore someone.

“You end up living in a constant state of anger and negativity,” Williams said. Worse, the silent treatment can become addictive. The father who couldn’t force himself to speak to his son again suffered the way many addicts suffer—through repeating an activity despite knowing its harm.

  • Most people who start giving the silent treatment never intend for it to go on for as long as it does, but it can be very difficult to stop,” Williams told me.
  • It’s psychological quicksand.” Read: How it became normal to ignore texts and emails The silent treatment is different from simply cooling off in the midst of a heated debate.

One way to prevent a conflict from curdling into ostracism is to say out loud the exact amount of time you’ll be taking a break and to establish a timeline for when you’ll pick the conversation back up, Williams said. In some circumstances, it’s okay for unhealthy relationships to end abruptly, without notice, and with no expectation to resume—such as when a spouse or partner is physically abusive.

But when someone is using the silent treatment to exclude, punish, or control, the victim should tell the perpetrator that they wish to resolve the issue. To “voice the pain of being ignored” is a constructive way of expressing one’s feelings, and may elicit a change if the relationship is truly founded on care, Margaret Clark, a psychology professor at Yale, told me in an email.

Although a victim of ostracism should certainly apologize if they’ve done something hurtful, Fishel said, “it’s time to call a couple’s therapist” if your spouse uses the silent treatment tactically and often. “One of the worst feelings in an intimate relationship is to feel ignored,” she said.

What are 3 problems caused by ignoring your emotions?

Why suppressing emotions can be bad for your health – It’s not just your long-term health that can suffer if you suppress your negative emotions. A 2021 study conducted in Italy during the first wave of lockdowns showed that when we regulate or ignore our emotions, we can experience short-term mental and physical reactions as well.

  1. Suppressing your emotions, whether it’s anger, sadness, grief or frustration, can lead to physical stress on your body.
  2. The effect is the same, even if the core emotion differs,” says provisional clinical psychologist Victoria Tarratt.
  3. She says the resulting emotional stress can impact your blood pressure, memory and self-esteem,

Longer term, there’s an increased risk of diabetes and heart disease, says Victoria. And avoiding emotions can also lead to problems with “memory, aggression, anxiety and depression “. A study from the University of Texas found that by not acknowledging our emotions we’re making them stronger.

Is it OK to completely ignore someone?

Is it okay to ignore someone? It’s always okay to have a personal boundary but know that you cannot control whether or not someone gets hurt. It’s okay to feel bad that you’re ignoring someone, as well. Choosing to ignore someone is not an easy decision, but it sometimes needs to be done.

Is ignored worse than being rejected?

Stand for Something – “If we don’t stand for something, we’ll fall for anything.” —Irene Dunne Being ignored has the same effect in our brain as being rejected, according to science. However, its cause is something that you should worry about. Oscar Wilde said: “There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” Pleasing everyone is impossible.

  • It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to stand for something and, at the same time, try to please everyone or do everything.
  • That’s why most people get ignored.
  • Wearing masks to please others hides who you are —  people ignore those who are not authentic,
  • It’s better to stand for something and be rejected, than pretending to stand for everything and be ignored.

You have to make tough choices. What you say no to defines who you are, as I wrote here. Saying yes is easy — that’s why people fall into the trap of pleasing everyone. If you stand up for something, people will take you seriously. Politicians, companies and unscrupulous people have turned the word ‘yes’ into a joke.